In Training (for an apocalypse)

Hey, fellow apocalyptids!

Yesterday I was thinking about trains. I was thinking that I sure wish this country had a better (and high-speed) train system, because I love traveling by train. I like getting up and walking around in a train, and going to the snack bar and watching the landscape fly past out the windows. Love that. We here in the States are deprived of super awesome train travel. Not to diss on Amtrak, or anything, but seriously. We need more tracks, more trains, and we’d be able to get around this country a lot easier, I think.

Anyway, I’m getting to something, here. Seriously. Bear with me.

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I grew up in rural Colorado, about 5 miles outside a small town. A quarter-mile away from my house was a train track, and every day at specific intervals, freight trains would pass and they always had to blow a whistle near the turn-off to my house, because a dirt road crossed the tracks there. I remember as a kid I’d think about where those trains had been, where they were going, and where along that stretch of track they slowed down enough so I could jump on (I never did). And I thought, too, that as long as there were trains, the world hadn’t ended. I’m not entirely sure how I came to that conclusion, but trains were a tie to an outside world, and as long as they ran, I knew there was something else out there. If the trains stop, I reasoned, that’s it. The world is no longer functioning the way it should be.

However, it occurred to me that in the event of that happening, trains can still be useful. If you have the wherewithal, for example, an empty train car could make a decent underground bunker. Hell, people live in train cars. Some are part of bed and breakfasts. You can convert them into practically anything. Hideouts, bunkers, living space. And if you circle ’em up (take the wheels off), you have a pretty decent fortress. They make good barriers, thus (freight cars, especially). Again, however, you have to have help to do this stuff, so plan ahead. Or, if you’re with friends/family in event of scariness, go find yourself a train car or two.

Then I got to thinking more, and I decided that trains can also be a pretty cool form of travel in event of a zombie apocalypse. If you have help, especially, and you need to cover large distances faster than on foot or even in a car. Train tracks, too, are useful as trails. Think about it. Trains are suppliers. Ergo, the tracks lead through previously populated areas that may still have stores with things you can use. And if you’re able to get a train going (you just need an engine and a car or two), you can locate some fuel and outfit it with serious protective gear. Plus, you can haul lots of supplies (including fuel and water) over long distances. Good plan for rebuilding society or outfitting your own commune. Or even your own city (think Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and as an aside, I thought Tina Turner rocked that role).

Things to think about: getting the damn thing started and keeping it running, the noise it makes (and if you must park, do so in open areas), and the possibility that there are abandoned trains on the track somewhere ahead of you. So proceed with caution. And here. How to run a train:

Didn’t think I’d leave you hanging, did you? Anyway. Just another possibility in event of apocalyptic scariness, zombie or otherwise.

Happy trainspotting!