And the winners of an ebook copy of Order Up are…
Thanks, everybody, for playing and for joining us on the Order Up blog tour!
Hi, kids! I’m kicking off this here blog tour, which begins today and ends June 24th (excluding weekends). Every author in my co-edited (with R.G. Emanuelle) anthology Order Up: A Menu of Lesbian Romance & Erotica (Ylva Publishing) will be blogging about their story that appears in this, a food- and love/sex/romance-themed anthology. There’ll be giveaways, excerpts, and the stories behind the stories.
HERE, my friends, is the TABLE OF CONTENTS.
In honor of this awesome-ness, I’m giving away TWO EBOOK COPIES of ORDER UP! If you want in on this fun-ness, leave a comment below! Make sure you include your email address in the comment fill-out form (NOT in the comment body). We’ll draw the winners FRIDAY JUNE 10th AT 10 PM EST.
THE SCHEDULE for this blog tour:
June 6: Andi Marquette, blogging at her site (The Situation Room).
June 7: Jove Belle, blogging at her site.
June 8: Cheyenne Blue, blogging at her site.
June 9: Brey Willows, blogging at her site.
June 10: Lea Daley, blogging at R.G. Emanuelle’s site.
June 13: Cheri Crystal, blogging at Andi Marquette’s site.
June 14: CK Combs, blogging at Butchtastic.net.
June 15: Liz McMullen, blogging at her site.
June 16: Marie Sterling, blogging at R.G. Emanuelle‘s site.
June 17: Rebekah Weatherspoon, blogging at her site.
June 20: Jaye Markham, blogging at Andi Marquette‘s site.
June 21: Emma Weimann, at Andi Marquette‘s site
June 22: N.R. Dunham, blogging at Andi’s site.
June 23: Pascal Scott, at R.G. Emanuelle‘s site.
June 24: R.G. Emanuelle, blogging at her site.
So let me tell you the story behind “The Secret’s in the Sauce,” my story in this here anthology, about Van, a woman who takes her best friend Terry to the emergency room because Terry had a slight cooking accident that involved marinara and it required a little bit of medical attention. The thing is, the doctor at the emergency room might also have some attention to give to Van, if Van is open to it. 😀
This is a story that has a true incident behind it. In the story, the main character’s best friend Terry, who has a YouTube cooking show, was working on a pot of marinara and in the course of that, some of the sauce flew up out of the hot pot and caught her in the eye. So Van, the main character, took her to the emergency room to get it checked out. That’s how the story starts.
The true incident behind the story happened thus: about a year ago, I was cooking a frittata. For those not in the know, a frittata is an Italian unfolded omelette, basically, with meats and vegetables (or just veggies, if that’s your thing). At any rate, I was cooking my version of it, and I flipped it over. In so doing, the uncooked part, which was on top before I flipped it over, hit the hot pan and splashed. Some of it shot into my eye. FOR REALZ. And it hurt like a mo-fo. I immediately put my head in the kitchen sink and ran water over and into my eye, which helped a lot. I didn’t have to go to the emergency room, fortunately (it wasn’t serious), but I of course immediately called R.G. Emanuelle, who is the actual chef of the two of us, and she proclaimed that, “Frittatas are assholes.” Which had me in stitches for days. I still giggle about it.
At any rate, when I was thinking about a story for this anthology, that incident popped into my head and I thought, how funny would it be for characters to meet after an asshole food incident and maybe spark a romance? “The Secret’s in the Sauce” is the result of my ruminations. Also, the spelling of “chile” in the story refers to New Mexico style green chile, which can refer to the chile plant, the chile sauce, or the pot of chile. New Mexico-style chile is not to be confused with Tex-Mex chili, which is often a red sauce and includes beef and beans. There! Some New Mexico culture! And now,
The Secret’s in the Sauce
by Andi Marquette
in the anthology Order Up: A Menu of Lesbian Romance and Erotica
Ylva Publishing, 2016
“You should’ve been cooking chile,” I said.
Terry looked at me from the exam table in the emergency room. She was sitting on it, her legs hanging over the side. The nurse who’d dropped us off had drawn the curtains around it, so we had a little bit of privacy. “Why?”
“Because it’s not an asshole, like your sauce.”
“Shut up,” she said, but she was smiling. “Given the chance, I’m sure your chile would blurp like my sauce did today.”
“My chile never blurps. You should switch your cuisine.”
“I’m Italian. Sauce is sacred.”
I shrugged. “We should do a study. Find out how often marinara is an asshole and blurps people in the eye, as opposed to chile.”
She giggled, which was a good sign because it meant she probably wasn’t in much pain.
“Can you see?” I asked.
“Yes. My eye just hurts a little. Like I got dirt in it or something.”
I was about to reply when the curtain parted.
“Hi,” the newcomer said. “I’m Dr. Barnes.” She smiled at both of us and I immediately lost the ability to say anything. Instead, I just smiled back and held Terry’s purse tighter. Something about women in scrubs was totally hot and something about Dr. Barnes made her scrubs even hotter. Kind of sporty. Not much makeup that I could tell, and dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. She looked like once she finished her rounds here she’d go play intramural soccer somewhere. I really liked that sporty look on women.
“So, Ms. Abruzzo, I understand you got something in your eye,” Dr. Barnes said in a soothing professional tone.
I moved aside for Dr. Barnes, who pulled a pair of exam gloves out of the container on the tray next to the exam table.
“Marinara sauce,” Terry said.
“And this sauce got in your eye?” she asked, like stuff like this happened every day.
“How?” Dr. Barnes put the gloves on.
“It was cooking on the stove and it blurped.”
Dr. Barnes raised an eyebrow. Oh, God. I’m a sucker for that. “That’s the technical term,” I said.
Dr. Barnes looked over at me, and I categorized the color of her eyes as hazel before she looked back at Terry. Really expressive hazel eyes.
“Like burped,” Terry said. “Only worse. A little bit of the sauce blurped up out of the pot and got into my eye. Like a bad horror movie.”
Dr. Barnes smiled, and I felt myself melt a little. “Sounds scary.”
Terry nodded. I had to give Dr. Barnes props for approaching this like she would any other situation. I doubted she had many patients who came to her with a marinara injury. She leaned over Terry with one of those bright light things and carefully examined both of Terry’s eyes. Then she turned it off and examined Terry’s face.
“The good news is, you seem to have gotten it out of your eye,” the doctor said, calm and professional. “But it looks like the sauce may have burned the skin underneath your eye.” She leaned in closer to Terry’s head and carefully held the eyelids of her affected eye open again. “Sorry, but I want to take another look, just to make sure.”
Terry muttered something that sounded like “fuck” and what seemed to be another smile tugged at the corner of Dr. Barnes’ mouth. That was hot, too, that suggestion of a smile. It made me think about what a full-blown grin would look like on her. Amazing, I figured.
Dr. Barnes shone the light into Terry’s eye, and Terry grabbed my hand and squeezed. Hard. I bit my lip to keep from yelling in pain. Not a good idea to yell suddenly when a doctor was messing around with your friend’s eyeball. Reflexively, I gripped the handles of Terry’s purse harder with my other hand.
“Tell me again what happened,” Dr. Barnes said, all soothing as she removed her hands from Terry’s face. I was a little envious of Terry.
Terry sighed with relief and I did, too, as she released my hand. “The sauce started bubbling, and I turned the burner down but a blob of it flew out of the pot toward my eye. The next thing I knew, my eye was burning and I freaked out and got to the sink and ran cold water on it.”
“On your eye?”
“Well, in it, actually.” Terry glanced at me and her expression said something like, “how stupid is this, really?”
I smiled, trying to be encouraging, but I was also trying not to laugh. Pretty sure the doctor would not appreciate that. Terry probably would, though.
“That probably helped,” Dr. Barnes said, her professionalism making my efforts not to laugh even harder. I cleared my throat and stared at my shoes, which were suddenly really interesting. Doc Martens did not go with the purse I was holding, I decided, and that made me want to laugh even more. I swallowed and cleared my throat again. If I looked at Terry right now, I’d lose it and that would not make a good impression on Dr. Sexy.
“Do you make sauce often?” Dr. Barnes asked.
“I’m Italian,” Terry said, as if that explained everything. “And I have a YouTube show. I was making this batch for my new episode.”
“Oh?” Dr. Barnes seemed genuinely interested.
“It’s called ‘Delizioso’,” Terry said. “Go on YouTube and search on that along with my last name.”
“I just might.”
“And next week I’m having Van on to demonstrate her chile, which apparently never blurps.”
Dr. Barnes looked over at me, amusement in her eyes, and I froze. “Really. So chile is a thing with you?” Dr. Barnes said.
“Um,” I said.
“It’s really good,” Terry said, saving me. “Better than good, actually.” She smirked behind the doctor’s back and I wanted to crawl under the exam table.
“I like chile,” Doctor Barnes said and I swear there was a twinkle in her eyes.
Oh, myyyyyyyy! Will Doctor Barnes follow up on liking chile? Will Terry’s sauce continue to be an asshole or will it somehow bring Van and Dr. Barnes together? Win a copy of Order Up here or
get you one!
AND head on over to Jove Belle’s site tomorrow, June 7th, for her blog on the Order Up blog-o-rama tour!
Thanks, everybody, for joining us on this here blog tour. Happy Monday!