Wynonna Earp recap: 2.07, “Everybody Knows” (aka Ghost Posse Warrant Cray)

Hi, everybody!

So the big news out of SDCC 2017 is that Wynonna Earp was renewed for a THIRD SEASON.

And there was much rejoicing throughout the land. Just go onto Twitter and hit the hashtag for #WynonnaEarp and you’ll see videos posted of the moment of the announcement at the WE fan panel and you, too, can participate in the rejoicing throughout the land.

Anyway, let’s now talk about the continued tour de force of S2, which just keeps going cray and getting more awesome. I was at ClexaCon in March and Emily Andras did talk about S2 in a fan panel with Dominique Provost-Chalkley and Katherine Barrell and she said it was going to be insane, that they had all kinds of things planned and damn, she was NOT kidding.

Oh, and THERE ARE SPOILERS GALORE BELOW! SO MANY DAMN SPOILERS!

As we saw last week, the widows got Hypnos to mess with Purgatory time, so Wynonna’s pregnancy became super-obvious, leading Doc and Dolls to find out. We were all operating under the assumption that Doc’s the father, and the final scene — a major tear-jerker between Waverly and Wynonna — demonstrates that Doc is all in. But we still have to deal with the widows and the fact that Tucker is on the loose and left the head of the Stone Witch on their doorstep.

Things to watch out for this episode:

1. Wynonna dizzy spell. Hmm.
2. The spell the Stone Witch had with Doc is broken somehow with the burning of her head.
3. Doc has a slight coughing fit early on. And he coughs again at Nedley Central. Does this mean he’s going mortal again, after the Stone Witch’s curse has been broken/altered?
4. Rumors are, there has been an instance of a Revenant breeding with a human in the past
5. Is Dolls “of this earthly world”?

Episode 7 opens with Wynonna and Dolls busting in on the widows at the widow house, but they’re in their Mercedes and Beth outfits, sitting on their couch claiming they had been knocked out. Wynonna, however, is suspicious. She and Dolls are looking for Tucker-the-soon-to-be-serial-killer because of what Tucker pulled in Episode 6. You know, that whole kidnapping Poppy thing and taking her to Waverly’s bedroom at the Earpstead which turned into a serious creepy perv-fest where he wanted Poppy to dress up in Waverly’s cheerleading outfit.

Anyway, Wynonna also wants to know WTF is up with the widows and Mercedes and Beth say they don’t know (because of course the widows would lie while wearing their human suits) and Wynonna is all, “So you two don’t know a couple of bitches who like to get their Halloween on in freaky black dresses?” Upshot, Wy and Dolls tell Mercedes and Beth they’re putting the Widstead under surveillance and Wynonna does not have time to play nice anymore.

Outside, she and Dolls discuss the possibilities of what’s happening at the Widstead and Wynonna knows something’s up. Usually, Wynonna says, “Mercedes is a fun bitch. Not a bitch bitch.” So she’s picking up vibes. And then she has a major head rush and has to wait it out. Hmmm. I wonder if that will be revisited as something weird in terms of witchiness or something. Let’s keep an eye on that. Dolls calls Doc and says “Code Rainbow.” Maybe that has to do with Wynonna and her pregnancy?

Cut back to Beth and Mercedes in the Widstead, and they’re clearly not happy about Wynonna gettin’ all up in their space, especially since Mercedes got injured from Wyatt’s gun. They talk about that asshole Tucker and how he got rid of one of two people — Constance, the Stone Witch — who would know where the third seal is. They toss the head into the fireplace, saying that they need to work fast to find the last seal (so I’m guessing the third seal is the last) and once they do, “our love burns bright and true.”

A creepy voice whispers, “Holliday.” YIKES.

And sure enough, the next scene has us clearly back in the ol’ West. Like, Doc’s original time. We see two cowboys, covered with cobwebs. The younger one wakes up the older one and says that he found him. Also, apropos of nothing, it is butt-ass cold when/where they are. Anyway, the other cowboy is very pleased and the younger one says “he has been decloaked.” So I’m linking this “decloaking” to Holliday and the burning of Constance’s head, because we know from S1 that Constance put the curse on Holliday. And sure enough, Reeves, the older guy, says they have to mark him with fire and do this one by the book. “Doc Holliday,” Reeves says, “will hang for his crimes.”

Cobweb Cowboys. Reeves on the right.

Meanwhile, back at the Earpstead, Wynonna is totally chowing down on yogurt while Waverly and Jeremy are figuring out who these widows are and what the deal is. Jeremy calls them “unclassified entities. They’d been stuck in a shipping container for a a hundred years and Doc’s dynamite at BBD might’ve helped free them. So what’s the deal with the seal fragments? Waverly has translated some of the text on them, which is ancient Phoenician BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE HAS. #geekswoon “Let thee rise” is what she’s translated and Wynonna is unimpressed. That was her least fave Boyz II Men album. omg laughing

Doc and Dolls show up with a doctor and I like her right off. She’s no-nonsense and examines Wynonna in a bedroom. She knows something’s weird about this, and even asks if Wy’s being held against her will (omg). The upshot of this visit is that Wynonna wonders about genetic testing because her family is basically a train wreck. The doc is all, “That should’ve been done months ago” but she doesn’t realize, of course, that Purgatory was all time-warped for a minnit. The doc wants blood samples. And she wants Wy to come to her office for visits. Dolls will drive her back to town, and he’s taking Jeremy so they can go stake out the Widstead.

The other doc is in.

ALSO! As an aside, Doc has a brief coughing fit before a nice moment with Waverly. Which makes me worried that burning Constance’s head has also made him mortal again, which means his TB may come back…let’s watch that development, shall we?

Doc goes outside and the young man from the ol’ West scene shows up and asks if he’s Doc Holliday. He’s sitting ON a fence and then suddenly he’s not on that fence and he’s standing in a totally different place and Doc realizes some crazy shit is going on.

Inside, crazy shit is revealed, too. Wynonna is a little freaked about the blood test thing and admits to Waverly that HOLY CRAP DOC MIGHT NOT BE THE FATHER OF THE MINI-EARP!!!!!!

We jump back outside before we learn what Wy’s going to say in response to Waves asking who the dad might be, where Doc is still confronting the young cowboy, who says he’s just the messenger. He says a warrant was filed against Doc in Colorado in 1882. The cowboy disappears and then suddenly reappears behind Doc and presses a hot brand to Doc’s right shoulderblade. The young man tells him he’s been marked by fire for capture and execution and he tells him to get his affairs in order because “he’s coming for you.”

OH, NOEZ! He’s marked by fire!

Lordie. Like they never have enough going on, amiright?

Back inside the Earpstead, Waves is freaking out that Doc may not be the dad and she’s worried about how Doc will take it. She says she’ll be there when Wy tells him, for full support. Then Doc comes back in and Waves is all, “oh, gotta go” and Doc is all, “Yeah, me, too” but we know he’s got OTHER things on his mind. Like ghost posse warrant shit. But Wynonna says “we should talk” and Doc stays and gives her such a moving speech (and he freaking tears up) that I practically went through a quarter of a box of Kleenex.

He reiterates his support for her and the baby and tells her he just wants her to be happy and healthy and he will do anything to ensure it and omg she tears up and she can’t tell him that he might not be the father, so she basically lets him leave and he’s still freaked out by the impending ghost posse and stamps around and gets into his car and is obvi stressed and Waves, who comes outside, thinks it’s because Wynonna told him he might not be the father. He drives off and Waves calls Nicole and asks for a favor.

Utterly gratuitous photo of Doc. Because Doc.

Over at the Widstead, Jeremy and Dolls are surveilling while Mercedes sweeps off the porch and waves at them. Yikes. Jeremy being Jeremy starts talking about the baby and how “glorious” it will be if it has Doc’s piercing eyes and Wynonna’s gorgeous hair (laughing omg) and Dolls is super-uncomfortable with the convo and tells him to be quiet. Jeremy sneezes and digs in his pocket for a tissue or something but pulls out a piece of tattered black cloth which he remembers he picked up from the floor of Shorty’s basement after the widow sitch and Dolls realizes they can analyze it and maybe find our more about the widows and the weird venom they use on people and maybe even locate them. Jeremy says, “You’re like Rizzoli and Isles combined!” lolol

We cut to Wynonna leaving the Earpstead and she tells Nicole that Waverly left already but Nicole says she’s there to basically hang out with her and OMG this is my absolute fave-ness, when we get Wynonna and Nicole scenes! Anyway, Nicole says she’s not to let Wy out of her sight and Wy is all, okay, let’s go to the bar. Nicole is kind of horrified but hides it and points out it’s a little early to hit Shorty’s but Wy tells her it’s not Shorty’s. Hmmm.

Then we, the audience swing over to Shorty’s where Doc is engaged in getting some serious guns n’ ammo ready. We know why, but Waves doesn’t and she pops by and tries to comfort him, still thinking he’s upset about maybe not being the dad and she brings that up and he stares at her and she realizes that Wynonna didn’t tell him and she’s all, “oh poop.” And he’s all, “could be she’ll be better off.” And he leaves and we then swing on over to Pussywillows strip joint where Nicole and Wynonna are hanging out at the bar because Wynonna is trying to locate the other dude who might be her baby-daddy. And we also find out that Wynonna worked this joint back in the day. No family, no money, trying to get a bus ticket out. She went by “Aphrodite.”

By the way, how many freaking bars does this town have?

Anyway, Nicole is having to do all the drinking to make it look like Wy’s drinking, and omg, you guys. Drunk Nicole is.the.best.thing.ever. We’ll come back to that. So they’re scoping out the bar and Wy has been watching the dude who might be the father and she tells Nicole to go buy him a drink and snag the glass so they can hopefully get a DNA test from his saliva. Nicole thinks this is actually not a bad idea and Wynonna then says, “you don’t become Wynonna Earp by confronting problems head on.” Which is actually really poignant.

But then —

Some dude starts acting up and Jonas, the guy Wynonna did, puts a stop to the dude’s acting up who is a Revenant and then Jonas turns and OMG YOU GUYS! Jonas, the bartender at Pussywillows, IS A REVENANT. Wynonna hit it with a Rev! A REV might be an Earp baby-daddy!

OMG! WHAAAAAAAAAAAT! Andras, you are KILLING US!

Nicole and Wy have a conversation trying to determine if Wy for sure hit it with Jonas or with someone else and Wy admits she was really drunk (it was the hair porn night from S1, you guys! Remember?) but she was trying to erase the memories of killing the Ripper and she just needed and wanted to be touched, to feel something, and Jonas was nice, she said. Nicole’s phone rings and it’s Waverly who is back at the Earpstead and NONE TOO HAPPY that Nicole and Wynonna are not there and she figure out right away from the background noise that they’re at a strip joint but Wynonna grabs Nicole’s phone and dunks it in the beer pitcher because Nicole says she can’t lie to Waves. So Wy saves her from having to do that. In a totally Wynonna Earp way. LOLOL

Nicole tells Wy to leave and she’ll get the saliva sample but OH NOEZ Jonas comes by to say hi to Wynonna.

We head over to Nedley Central where Doc is prepping guns there, too, and Dolls shows up. He tries to have a man-to-man kind of convo in which he congratulates Doc over the baby but Doc is clearly preoccupied when Jeremy busts in with some revelation about glyco-who-zee-whatsit on the widow veil. He says he needs another set of hands (and Doc’s are so “nimble and soft” lol) but Doc refuses and Dolls, thinking that he’s acting a little weird, tells him he’s not leaving the station with any of the BBD guns. Doc is frustrated, but Jeremy says he just needs 5 minutes and Doc says he’ll get three.

Back to Pussywillows where Nicole is so drunk, you guys! She’s having to do shots with Jonas and that means probably doing Wy’s shots, too. Though Wy is kind of faking the shots. Nicole is all soft and squishy and cute Nicole when she’s drunk. The scenes with drunk Nicole are SO GOOD. Kat Barrell, you’re a comic genius! “We’re gonna need a few more of those peppermint shots…because it’s like drinking Christmas!” And Jonas is all, “I like you” to Nicole and “you too, Wynonna…even if you are here to kill me” he says in his demon voice.

Drunk Nicole is my new fave.

AND they leave us hanging with that scene and fling us back to Nedley Central where Jeremy is distilling things and doing science to make a vaccine to make them immune to the widows’ venom while Doc and Dolls watch and wait for his signal to do whatever they’re supposed to do when Jeremy’s ready.

Jeremy starts chanting in a language that Dolls says sounds Icelandic after Doc asks if Jeremy is actually praying. You guys, it turns out Jeremy is doing some kind of binding spell to determine the location of the widows but it gets screwed up and he ends up…

BINDING THE THREE OF THEM TOGETHER which means wherever one goes, the other two are dragged along with him! And it also means that one can’t go more than a few feet from the others, as Doc discovers right off.

Back at Pussywillows, Wy confronts Jonas on having sex with her knowing she was an Earp. And as we find out, this Jonas guy is a grade A misogynist rat-bastard and he is literally going to force her to have sex with him again. Nicole draws the gun she keeps in her sock (WHAT? NICOLE! I LOVE YOU!) and points it at him and Wynonna throat-slams Jonas with her elbow and Nicole shoots the power box and all the lights go off in the bar.

Cut back to Nedley Central, where we discover that the binding spell means that they all mimic each other’s movements. So when one bends over, the others do, too. OMG this is genius! Jeremy is trying to unbind them but oh, shit, ghost marshal Reeves shows up and suddenly there’s a noose around Doc’s neck and he’s hauled right up to ceiling. Which makes for hilarious contortions on the part of Jeremy and Dolls. Doc and Jeremy try to engage Reeves, who it’s clear is a phantom and Reeves says that nothing from this earthly world can harm him. Dolls then punches him and it works! So Dolls, you guys, is sort of above an earthly world? Let’s keep an eye on that, too.

Now we have to check in on Wy and Nicole running to their car outside of Pussywillows. Nicole tells Wy to drive and Wy says, “no kidding. But you’re a cute drunk. Good aim, too.” And then Nicole refers to Jonas as “Grabby McRevenant” and I just freaking fell onto the floor laughing. Jonas then comes outside and asks if the baby is his and Wy says “maybe” and Jonas goes all Rev and says they’ve started a new race. Oh, ick. Wynonna draws Peacemaker and he runs away right into the door of Waverly’s jeep. At seeing Waves, Nicole is all, “you are so pretty and I like you so much!”

I can’t. Laughing.

Waves gives them her WTF lecture and then Nicole says that Jonas might be the dad and they decide to take him for a ride.

Back at Nedley Central, Dolls confronts Doc on what ghost posse wants with him and Doc, referring to the date and place of the warrant, says that it was over a woman and Dolls tells him he’s selfish and brings everybody down with his crap and Doc is all, “which is why I was trying to take care of this on my own” and Dolls tells him the lone wolf stuff ain’t gonna cut it in terms of Wynonna and a baby and Doc says it might not be his when Jeremy interrupts with an announcement that the spell will wear off in one rotation. But they don’t know how much time that actually is and then Reeves the ghost posse guy shows up again. Jeremy bails out back, but Dolls and Doc are dragged along and holy crap, the entire ghost posse is there waiting for them and oh, hell. They’re taken into custody.

Ghost posse materializing!

The next scene is Waves, Nicole, and Wynonna standing near Nicole’s police car. They’ve got Jonas in the trunk. They’re trying to figure out what to do with him because as Wy points out, Jonas will tell all the Revs that she’s pregnant. Waverly tells Wy to send him back to hell, which kind of horrifies Nicole but Waves is all, it’s what she does, Nicole. Yikes. That’s a little harder-edged Waves. Wy opens the trunk and then…

we’re back with the ghost posse walking through the woods. Doc tries to get Reeves to let Dolls and Jeremy go, but Reeves is a hard-ass lawman, and says because they harbored Doc, a fugitive, they will also be punished. Doc apologizes to Dolls and Jeremy. Basically, Holliday was sentenced to death by a judge in Colorado because Doc intended to fornicate with the judge’s wife. So this is basically warped justice, going on the sentence of one judge for the act of fornication. I’ll have to see if fornication carried a 19th-century death sentence…hmm…

Anyway, Reeves reads out the sentence and Dolls jumps in and gets me a little weepy because he talks about how Doc has redeemed himself and he’s proud to call Doc his brother. He then pats Doc on the back — where he was branded — and Doc yelps and shows Jeremy and Dolls the wound and Jeremy notices it has five points and Dolls figures out it’s the five points of the U.S. Marshals’ badge.

And then in a totally amazing turn of events, Doc realizes that “Reeves” is Bass Reeves, a legendary lawman and one of his idols, and the reason he went into law enforcement. And he shows his badge to Reeves and Reeves sees that Dolls outranks him and allows Doc to be in his custody and Dolls pardons Doc and then the ghost posse disappears to get some rest. After which Dolls totally fanboys for a minute over Reeves. Heh.

Whew. Now we have to go see what’s happening with Wy and company. Wy and Waves have Jonas out of the car and he continues to demonstrate his horrible misogyny to the extent that Waves tells him to shut his stupid sexist piehole (that needs to be on a T-shirt). This dude is so gross. He does say, however, that there are rumors that a Revenant has bred with a human before. Jonas calls Wynonna a whore and says all kinds of horrible stuff and Wynonna tells him she’s going to raise the child to be good and awesome and then puts him down. #byefelicia. Then there’s a touching moment with Waves. “Here’s to single motherhood,” Wy says. Waves says “you’re a superhero.” Wy: “Same thing.” OMG *sniff* Then Waves asks Wynonna, “this baby…what is it?” And Wynonna says, “ours.” Also, not sure where Nicole was in that last scene…

ALL THE FEELZ

But still crying.

Back at Nedley Central, Jeremy is napping and it looks like the spell has worn off. Doc and Dolls talk about what happened and Dolls seems to think that he was able to touch Reeves because they’re both lawmen. I dunno, you guys…I dunno. Dolls wonders how the posse found Doc after all this time and Doc looks at the ring on his finger and says “there is someone I need to visit.” I’m thinking that’s the Stone Witch, but we all know she ain’t all there. Doc is all sweet and tucks the blanket around Jeremy’s chin and then he and Dolls have a beer.

Final scene is at the Earpstead where Waverly and Wynonna are having a deep convo moment and in this moment, you guys…

Waves tells Wynonna that she may not be Wynonna’s sister or even an Earp.

MOAR FEELZ

And that’s where we’re left!!!!

THIS SHOW, YOU GUYS!!!! AND WE GET A SEASON 3!!!!!

Whew. Cheers, y’all! Whiskey and donuts all around!

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