Author: Andi Marquette

Andi Marquette once wanted to be a seafaring pirate. But she realized that could be a problem, growing up in the Rocky Mountain West and Southwest. So she became an editor, anthropologist, and historian instead. But that, too, didn't satisfy her weird cravings for stories and strange realms. Now, she's a writer ensconced in Colorado and when she wants to go pirate-ing, she just makes something up.

No Rapture, but how about a Zombie Apocalypse tip?

Hi, kids–

Well, I suspect you’re still here. News reports are saying NOTHING IS HAPPENING cataclysmically. No word, either, from the predictor of said Rapture, Mr. Harold Camping. Family Radio is playing nothing but devotional music and hymns, unrelated to the Rapture.

This is why stuff like this makes me think of cults. Seriously? A guy in New York blew $140,000 of his personal savings to put up ads and billboards and posters. [shaking head]

Anyway, this is just a funsies post about the ZA (which of course is WAY MORE REAL than the Rapture [I’m laughing]), but there are also good tips for basic disaster preparedness.

The CDC got into the “preparing for a zombie apocalypse” thing with this post, because they realized that whenever somebody mentioned Zombies in a Twitter feed or Facebook or something comparable, traffic went up. Zombies are popular, so the CDC used ’em to get us thinking about disaster preparedness.

Here are some tips from the CDC release, FYI:
Water (1 gallon per person per day)
Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

So, no Rapture, but it was cool that the CDC got into the zombie fun.

Happy Rapture Day!

by Categories: Funny stuff, Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips, ZombiesTags: , , ,

This ain’t Blondie’s Rapture (sadly)

Hey, all–

So, presumably, at least half of you have heard that the Rapture is this Saturday. For those who are not up on Christian eschatology, that’s the day when the chosen ones are called on up to heaven and all the unbelievers and unsaved are left to rot here on the planet as it basically self-destructs. Pleasant for those of us “left behind,” if you will. [snark]

And yes, I am not among the chosen. Not that I ever pretended to be or wanted to be. I don’t believe that religion makes you more moral than others, or that it makes you special or superior to others. Nor do I believe that one religion is better than another, or that there’s a hierarchy of people that God, however you perceive him or her, designates.

At any rate, I like a good apocalypse, but stuff like this — with people proclaiming specific dates and thus usurping what’s supposed to be a power reserved for deities — makes me nervous, because a lot of people buy into it, and that’s just walking the cult line.


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All that said, Harold Camping of Family Radio has been perusing his King James bible for decades, and he’s been looking for secret codes and numbers that would tell him exactly when the Rapture happens, and after manipulating those codes and numbers (using his own numerology), he came up with May 21, 2011 as the date. And because Camping’s been around since the 1950s, Family Radio has had lots of time to build up an audience. Which it has. It’s translated into 61 different languages and there are Rapture billboards all over the world.

More? Click on.

Continue reading →

by Categories: Bless Their Hearts, Random WTF stuffTags: , , , 1 Comment

Cool blog alert

Hey, kids–

This is a site I use when I’m doing research or just feeling the need to check out criminalistics and forensic methodology. As some of you may or may not know, every other book (even-numbered) in my New Mexico series stars Chris Gutierrez, a detective in Albuquerque who works a lot of homicides. Now, I do have somewhat of a background in criminalistics and forensic anthropology through my graduate work and outside interest — I’ve taken courses outside my fields and workshops, as well and done a community police program — but when I need some help with research, I can go to this blog and probably find the answers I’m looking for or a way to get that answer. That is, if I can’t find any of my friends in the field to help me out in a pinch.

The Graveyard Shift

That’s veteran police investigator Lee Lofland’s blog. Here you’ll find tips on proper police procedure, crime scene investigation, proper technique and gear that law enforcement and emergency responders use. For example, the current entry is a guest blog by firefighter Joe Collins, who gives you a breakdown of new bunker gear (comparing it to older gear).

Here’s a taste of that, from Mr. Collins, a 12-year veteran firefighter/paramedic:

Modern bunker gear is constructed of space age materials—some of the same used in space suits. It must meet the requirement of not melting, igniting, dripping or separating when exposed to a heat of 500°F for five-minutes. Considering that in structure fires ceiling temperatures as much as 1000 F have been recorded, it doesn’t provide as much protection as you would think. Those temperatures are also why we do most of our work crawling along the floor.

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There are photos, too.

So if you’re a writer of police procedural fiction, or just interested in how this stuff works, check out Lofland’s blog.

Happy reading, happy writing!

by Categories: Cool blogs, Super cool blogs, Writing tipsTags: , , , , ,

Cool “writers on writing” archive

Hi, folks–

I took Monday off. Kind of a Manic Monday, don’tcha know.

Anyhoo, I came across this really sweet New York Times archive. It’s called “Writers on Writing” and it’s a big ol’ list of articles done by various writers that addresses some aspect of writing. Super cool.

How about E.L. Doctorow on how novels are following films into a land of “fewer words”?

As more than one critic has noted, today’s novelists tend not to write exposition as fully as novelists of the 19th century… .The 20th-century novel minimizes discourse that dwells on settings, characters’ CVs and the like. The writer finds it preferable to incorporate all necessary information in the action, to carry it along in the current of the narrative, as is done in movies.
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Or Annie Proulx (whose work I deeply admire), on inspiration?

A whole set of metaphoric shovels is part of my tool collection, and for me the research that underlies the writing is the best part of the scribbling game. Years ago, alder scratched, tired, hungry, and on a late return from a fishing trip, I was driving through Maine when a hubbub on the sidewalk caught my eye: milling customers at a yard sale. I stop for yard sales. Pay dirt. I found the wonderful second edition unabridged Webster’s New International Dictionary with its rich definitions and hundreds of fine small illustrations.
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Or Alice Walker on meditation, John Updike on character, or Carl Hiaasen on plagiarizing from real life?

This archive is a treasure trove of gems from a variety of writers, from a variety of perspectives. Seriously check it out.

Happy reading, happy writing!

by Categories: Cool stuff to read, Coolness, Inspiration, Things that might make you think, Writing tipsTags: , , , , , , , ,

Sunday readin’ and ruminatin’ tip

Hi, folks–

As some of you know, I already suggested unplugging yourself from technology (read that here) and yes, I am fully aware of the irony of me telling you these things while I’m online writing this blog. 8)

I do think, though, that it’s important to get away from all the crap that’s online these day. Sock puppets, trolls, freaks, assorted conspiracies, rampant unhealthy consumerism…it’s not good for us as individuals or societies. Currently, there’s a troll-fest going on over on one of the Facebook pages I “liked” and I can’t help but wonder whether the asshats who are trolling would say the things to people in real life that they’re posting online.

In some ways, I think not, but even saying these things online tells me something about the kinds of people they are. And these are some vile, hateful things that these trolls/sock puppets are saying. If they are, in fact, the types of people who would say those things to someone’s face as well as online, then clearly they are not the kinds of people we need in our lives. Healthy, happy people don’t feel the need to say the kinds of things these people are saying, whether online or in real life. And if we are to maintain a healthy, happy outlook, then we need to remind ourselves that words do have power, and everything we say is a reflection of who we are as people, whether in real life or online.

Which brings me to author Richard Louv. Read on to find out why I recommend you read this guy.

Continue reading →

by Categories: Books, Cool articles, Cool stuff to read, Things that might make you thinkTags: , , , , , , ,

OMG! More zombie apocalypse survival tips!

Hi, folks!

Happy Saturday!

Okay, so today’s ZA survival tip has to do with camping. Remember, I mentioned that a couple of weeks ago? We’d talk about camping (if you have to) during a ZA. I recommended then that you not travel at night and one of the primary reasons for this is that you can’t see very well in the dark and if you use a flashlight or any kind of light, you’re going to attract zombies. And just as bad, in some cases, other survivors.

That means you need to travel during the day, and you need to think about where you are at all times. We’ve already discussed getting out of urban areas (simple formula: the more people –> more zombies), and I recommended that you stay mobile. So you need to travel light, with some basic supplies. Other stuff you can grab along the way. No living crowds, anymore, at stores, after all.

I’m personally of the opinion that going north (if you’re in the US) is a really good idea. Why? Well, think about it. Huge swaths of Canada weren’t that populated prior to a ZA, which means fewer zombies. Also, I subscribe to the Max Brooks theory, in that cold weather slows zombies down. If you read his World War Z, there are survivors there who go north and make it a habit to go out with the spring thaw and start dispatching zombies that were frozen during the winter. So yes, winter and cold weather can totally suck and it’s dangerous for the living, but I think that it can provide a good chance for you to survive and perhaps even hunker down a bit, to give yourself a rest.


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ZOMG! There’s more!

Continue reading →

by Categories: Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips, ZombiesTags: ,

This n’ That

Hey, kids! Happy Friday to all of y’all.

Just a couple of things. I have conversations with my characters now and again, and I post those. You can find the latest convo, with my character Chris Gutierrez (Albuquerque police detective) over at Women and Words. There are links to 2 other character convos I’ve had on that post, as well. If you’re interested, check it out.

HOT book tip, from author Nicola Griffith. The blurbs alone should make you want to check this out (if it’s your thing), but Nicola says it’s a rockin’ ride, so I freakin’ bought it. I’ll definitely let y’all know what I thought of it. And the book is: Queen of Kings, the debut novel by Maria Dahvana Headley. Cleopatra. Ancient Egypt. She makes a deal with dark magic for her dead lover Antony. And funky, chaotic, awesome, dark and twisted stuff ensues. Sort of urban paranormal historic fiction. Like Queen of the Damned meets The Mummy. Or something. How could you NOT want to read that?

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And there you go. Happy reading!

by Categories: Books, Cool stuff to read, ParanormalTags: , , , ,

You. Must. Chill.

All right, this week has been crazy scary busy for me. One thing after another and deadlines and freakiness and…like that.

So tonight, I’m passing along a message that I used to tell my college-aged students when I was teaching. It was kind of a challenge I issued to them, if only because them crazy youngsters come out of the womb with electrical, not umbilical cords. I’d tell them this:

Be Amish for a week. Or at least a weekend (no disrespect at all to Amish people).

That is, unplug. Turn off your TV and computers. All your electronic devices. Leave your phone at home. Don’t drive anywhere. Or, better yet, do drive somewhere out of reach, like a cabin in the middle of nowhere with no internet connection and no TV.

Learn how to be with yourself, without the distractions of electronic devices that so many people today seem to define themselves either with or as. You are an individual, and healthy individuals need to spend time alone, without distractions, without obsessively checking email or text messaging. Get off the information superhighway and reconnect with your immediate surroundings, your family, your neighborhood.

And make this a habit. At least 1-2 evenings a week be tech-free (Amish). And extend it. You don’t need the constant mind-numbing bombardment of information, or the corporate-driven consumer drivel that makes you think you need things you really don’t. Turn it off. Build a community, build a true revolution that emphasizes individuals working in tangent with other unique individuals to oppose the brainless prattle that passes for “news” and “information” these days. Go to a library and read. Spend time with yourself, and spend face-time with people, rather than interacting via text and email.

Reconnect with nature. You need balance in your life, and being constantly plugged in to something techie is robbing you of real, sensory experiences.

So try it. Be Amish for a while. It could change your life.

Happy living!

by Categories: Inspiration, Random WTF stuff, Things that make you thinkTags: 4 Comments

Vonnegut interviews people he never met

Okay, so I was totally just going to go on off to bed because the ol’ day job kicked my ass today, but I found this awesome bloglink from Brain Pickings and I just HAD to share.

Here’s Brain Picking’s link, BTW.

So I’ll pimp Brain Pickings while I’m at it–irreverent, esoteric, and just a lot of fun stuff over there, like this post: “Kurt Vonnegut’s Fictional Interviews with Luminaries.”

QUOTE:
In 1997, iconic writer Kurt Vonnegut pitched an idea to New York public radio station WNYC: He would conduct fictional interview with dead cultural luminaries and ordinary people through controlled near-death experiences courtesy of real-life physician-assisted suicide proponent Dr. Jack Kevorkian, allowing the author to access heaven, converse with his subjects, and leave before it’s too late. The producers loved the idea and Vonnegut churned out a number of 90-second segments “interviewing” anyone from Jesus to Hitler to Isaac Asimov. The interviews — funny, poignant, illuminating, timeless, profoundly human — are collected in God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian, a fantastic anthology playing on the title of Vonnegut’s 1965 novel, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, some of the best cultural satire of the past century.

Brain Pickings gives you a link to “Letters of Note,” which tells you a bit more. Here. I’ll be totally pimping that site soon!

Anyway, enjoy!

by Categories: Books, Cool blogs, Cool stuff to read, Coolness, The Awesome, Things that make you thinkTags: , ,