WALKING DEAD resumes Sunday February 9th. Check your local listings so you, too, can get swept up in the madness.
As many of you know, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the ZA (Zombie Apocalypse, for those of you not briefed). You can see that here. And here. And here, here, and here. Oh, geez. Here, here, and here, too. Oh, and this one is about SEX.
Damn. I’ve blogged a lot about the ZA. That’s not even all the blogs. Maybe I should get out more.
Anyway. Here’s a sneak peek from the upcoming f*ck-up-ed-ness that is sure to be the second half of season 4.
And here. Find out how long you’d live in a ZA. Take this quiz here. And you can download the “Dead Yourself” app to see how’d you look as a zombie.
Haven’t done a zombie apocalypse prep post in a while. So here we go. Yahoo had an article the other day on purchasing anti-zombie strongholds. These are actual living spaces that might serve you well in a zombie outbreak. Some better than others. Not sure it’s actually a good idea to have an underground place unless you’ve got an escape tunnel elsewhere. After all, if you’re underground and zombies figure it out, they’ll just congregate over your bunker. So if you go that route, have an escape tunnel or two that are reinforced and camouflaged.
Saturday and I felt like doing some more zombie apocalypse survival tips. In kind of a roundabout way.
I have this list. On it are the names of people I definitely do not ever want to be around in event of a zombie apocalypse (or any other kind of major freak-out). It doesn’t include, say, political people or celebrities because chances are, in an event like that, I won’t be anywhere near Tom Cruise or Kate Beckinsale or the president. Chances are, I’ll be having to pick my allies (or not) from the nearest neighbors, especially if I’m not near any close friends or family members.
So this list has the names of people I actually know who I do not want anywhere near me should serious s*** go down.
Good gracious this week sucked giant butt in terms of the ol’ busy-ness. Sorry about that, friends.
So what’d you think about the season 2 premiere of Walking Dead? The show has different writers than last year, but I was glad to see some character consistencies. However, I do have to say that the commercials on AMC really interrupted the flow of the program and decreased its length from “90 minutes” to probably about 60. WTF? Season 1’s premiere, if I recall correctly, ran 2 hours, with minimal commercial invasion. Sigh.
Hey, kids! Getting ready for tomorrow’s premiere of Walking Dead on AMC! I assume this means YOU are, too! But getting ready for a TV show is a heck of a lot easier than getting ready for an actual zombie apocalypse (duh) because, in most instances, people DON’T prepare for any kind of apocalypse, let alone zombies.
I mean, there are those among us who do prepare for some kind of apocalypse. What the means is they usually stock food, medical supplies, and guns and ammo. This is not a bad idea, but it also precludes mobility, and that may be one of the options that you have to exercise.
At this point, I defer to Max Brooks, who is surely the zombie mas-tah with regard to today’s tip. What I’ll talk about today is how to recognize that there might be a zombie outbreak in your area and to assess what, if anything, anybody’s doing about it. You can find this in his excellent Zombie Survival Guide.
Since it’s coming up on Halloween and some of you (myself included) like the dark, macabre edge of a good zombie movie or tale, I thought I’d direct you to this big-ass anthology of zombie short stories by some of the best writers in the horror/zombie biz, including Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, Max Brooks, and Poppy Z. Brite. It’s called Zombies: Encounters with the Hungry Dead, edited by John Skipp, and it’s got you covered, regardless of whether you want funny/twisted, scary, creepy, weird…whatever. The link above is to Amazon, and you can check out the table of contents there. source: Elliot Bay Book Company
TIP: I particularly enjoyed Robert Bloch’s “A Case of the Stubborns,” about a grandpa who dies but refuses to admit that he did.
32 stories here, and also some cool appendix materials about the origins of zombies and how they’ve infected pop culture. So for reals. Check this one out if you’re into zombies and short stories.
Yesterday I posted an excerpt from a work in progress over at my other hangout, Women and Words. It’s the third chapter of a F/F romance I’m working on (WHUUUUUT? Andi writes novel-length romance??? Dunno yet–giving it a try). You’ll also find links at that post to the first 2 chapters, so have no fear, I’m not forcing you to hunt for ’em! So go on and clickie that linkie up there to have a looksee, if you’re in the mood.
Moving along…
Howsabout some post-apocalyptic vehicles? The only problem I can foresee here is fuel, but perhaps some intrepid inventor somewhere is working on getting one of these up and running on something other than fuel.
Although the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle is the shizzle, too. Did you see the movie Stripes? If not, get it. You’ll see the EM-50 in action. source
These vehicles are “post-apocalyptic,” which could be any kind of apocalypse, including zombies. And yes, the link mentions zombies, so clearly, some of these vehicles can help with that, if you’re fortunate enough to have one and if fuel isn’t that big a deal acquiring.
All rightie, happy reading, happy writing, happy Saturday!
I was thinking this morning that one doesn’t need to be undead to be a “zombie.”
Specifically, I’m thinking here of that awesome zombie flick Shaun of the Dead (2004), which if you dig a little deeper under the surface is kind of a metaphor about how if you’re not careful, living can actually suck the life out of you, and not in a good way. You wake up, you go to a soul-draining job that you’re not totally happy about, you go home. The next day, you wash, rinse, repeat.
In the movie, there’s the scene where Shaun wakes up the morning after the zombie-fication starts, and he’s not entirely awake, but he wanders down to the corner store where he usually buys a paper and a drink or a snack and already, the audience can tell there are zombies about, but he doesn’t make the connection that something’s freaky, even freakier than the night before when he and his buddy were at the pub, doesn’t notice that there’s a bloody handprint on the door of the cooler he opens to get his drink, doesn’t think it too weird that the clerk at the store is missing and the store’s kind of a mess. Shaun just leaves his money on the counter and goes back home, oblivious to the people wandering aimlessly around the street or some of the destruction.
Here’s a good compilation somebody did that juxtaposes Shaun going to the store when things were normal, and when things weren’t. He doesn’t seem to notice much…
Point being that you can actually be a zombie without being undead, that your life can actually kind of drift along, you stuck in a job you hate, doing the same things over and over again, until before you know it, you’re so locked in you don’t even notice that an actual zombie apocalypse is under way because your synapses have been dulled by the anesthetized life you’ve been living.
So here’s your zombie survival tip for today: if you find that you are already living a zombie existence as I’ve described here, it might be time to try to make some changes. Get a new hobby. Play some sports (the physical conditioning will serve you well in an actual zombie apocalypse). Take some drives in the country. If you have access to awesome public transportation, go to neighborhoods in your city you don’t normally visit. If you’re in this country, take an Amtrak trip somewhere you’ve never been. If you’re in Europe, take a train somewhere you’ve never been. You’ve got to get past the zombie-fication that every day life can lead you to, so you can be sharper for the rest of your life (whether or not a zombie apocalypse occurs). You need a new perspective, mates. Go get one!
Remember, I’ve already posted on how guns might be a good idea for back-up, but keep in mind the downside. You’re gonna need to keep finding ammo; they’re loud and might attract attention from more zombies and other survivors who want your guns; you have to keep them clean and serviceable if you want ’em to work correctly.
Again, they might not be a bad idea in a pinch. But true survivors like to increase the odds of their survival. Which means
1. avoiding potential confrontations with zombies and/or other survivors
2. staying on the move — the fewer people in an area originally, the fewer zombies
3. firing a gun as few times as possible in order to remain on the down-low
So if possible, get yourself a baseball bat (for our friends in non-baseball-playing countries, a cricket bat is quite nice). One that is easy for you to wield and stash. And you might consider getting yourself a lightweight plastic face shield. If you see some trouble headed your way of the zombie variety and it’s a lone individual or maybe a couple and there’s no way to kind of sneak away, get your gloves and faceshield on and…
Again, I’m not suggesting that you go zombie hunting armed this way. But it’s always good to have a bat and faceshield at the ready should you be confronted by an individual zombie or perhaps 2. Three, and I’d suggest finding a way to not be there anymore, drawing as little attention as possible.
Attack ’em if you have no other options or if that’s the absolute best one. A bat at least gives you reach, and it won’t get stuck in a zombie like an axe or a pick or something like that. Gads, that’s a disgusting thought.
Hey, kids–whew. Okay, so here’s my tip today. Seriously.
STAY IN SHAPE and STAY HEALTHY.
Because in a zombie apocalypse, there will be no doctors’ offices, no hospitals, no pharmacies that are operating. You need to be able to outrun zombies and other survivors, you need to be able to climb and jump, and hide.
You also need to learn how to take care of minor and possibly major medical problems with materials at hand. And your chances of finding a doctor to help you do that are pretty slim. That’s a grim outlook. So get your cardio in order, start eating right, and learn some first aid. As cool as the video games make it seem — that zombie killin’ stuff — the fact is that every time you put yourself in a risky situation, you’re in danger of an injury and in this post-apocalyptic world, a minor scratch can lead to major infections. And if you sustain a major injury because you thought it would be fun to crawl around rubble and fight zombies, well, I hate to tell you this, but you’re probably toast and you have no one really to blame but yourself.
Andi Marquette 