Haven’t done a zombie apocalypse prep post in a while. So here we go. Yahoo had an article the other day on purchasing anti-zombie strongholds. These are actual living spaces that might serve you well in a zombie outbreak. Some better than others. Not sure it’s actually a good idea to have an underground place unless you’ve got an escape tunnel elsewhere. After all, if you’re underground and zombies figure it out, they’ll just congregate over your bunker. So if you go that route, have an escape tunnel or two that are reinforced and camouflaged.
Saturday and I felt like doing some more zombie apocalypse survival tips. In kind of a roundabout way.
I have this list. On it are the names of people I definitely do not ever want to be around in event of a zombie apocalypse (or any other kind of major freak-out). It doesn’t include, say, political people or celebrities because chances are, in an event like that, I won’t be anywhere near Tom Cruise or Kate Beckinsale or the president. Chances are, I’ll be having to pick my allies (or not) from the nearest neighbors, especially if I’m not near any close friends or family members.
So this list has the names of people I actually know who I do not want anywhere near me should serious s*** go down.
Haven’t blogged about zombies in a while. I was traveling last weekend and I ended up reading the first 2 of Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy. I put that off, like, as long as I could so I wouldn’t be all part of the trend or something, but I read ’em and posted my thoughts over on my Goodreads account. So if you’re on Goodreads, you can go check out my thoughts over there. Fave character in that series thus far is, hands down, Lisbeth Salander. A woman I definitely would not want to be friends with, but also one I wouldn’t want to be enemies with and someone I’d hire in a heartbeat to track someone down.
Anyway, let’s chat about things to do and not to do during a zombie apocalypse. First and foremost, people, I think we just really need to get this out on the table: SEX.
Remember, I’ve already posted on how guns might be a good idea for back-up, but keep in mind the downside. You’re gonna need to keep finding ammo; they’re loud and might attract attention from more zombies and other survivors who want your guns; you have to keep them clean and serviceable if you want ’em to work correctly.
Again, they might not be a bad idea in a pinch. But true survivors like to increase the odds of their survival. Which means
1. avoiding potential confrontations with zombies and/or other survivors
2. staying on the move — the fewer people in an area originally, the fewer zombies
3. firing a gun as few times as possible in order to remain on the down-low
So if possible, get yourself a baseball bat (for our friends in non-baseball-playing countries, a cricket bat is quite nice). One that is easy for you to wield and stash. And you might consider getting yourself a lightweight plastic face shield. If you see some trouble headed your way of the zombie variety and it’s a lone individual or maybe a couple and there’s no way to kind of sneak away, get your gloves and faceshield on and…
Again, I’m not suggesting that you go zombie hunting armed this way. But it’s always good to have a bat and faceshield at the ready should you be confronted by an individual zombie or perhaps 2. Three, and I’d suggest finding a way to not be there anymore, drawing as little attention as possible.
Attack ’em if you have no other options or if that’s the absolute best one. A bat at least gives you reach, and it won’t get stuck in a zombie like an axe or a pick or something like that. Gads, that’s a disgusting thought.
Hope this weekend is treating you oh, so groovy. I thought even those of us dealing with the ZA might need a little break. So in case you’re needing a respite from the hard work of avoiding zombies and survivors once all hell breaks out, I found this delightful wine that might be able to help you unwind, as you’re hunkered for the evening in your darkened, cramped, stuffy attic (remember, no lights at night).
Is it good? Probably not. But ask yourself this. You’ve been running, dodging, hiding, living on the edge of hell for a few months. You haven’t had a decent shower in months, or a meal that didn’t come out of a can or an MRE package. You probably have bruises, scratches, scrapes, and some creepy itch from running around in the woods. Are you REALLY going to care what this wine tastes like?
I thought not. So get yourself a bottle for the ZA and take a few minutes of chill.
Coming at you a little late today and had all kinds of craziness going on yesterday; hope your weekend is going well!
So today’s tip is this: in event of a full-blown zombie apocalypse, let’s say you got out of the city okay and you’re on the move. Excellent! Go, you! But…
don’t travel at night.
Unless you absolutely have to, just don’t do it. Why? Well, because it’s dark, and you don’t see so well in the dark because you’re not a four-legged mammal. And if you decide to turn on your flashlight, you draw zombies and other survivors to you. You also need to conserve batteries in your portable light sources for emergencies, and it’s really hard to fight zombies with one hand when you’re holding a flashlight in the other (and no, I don’t suggest doing that).
So if you’re out in the dark and you decide to use a flashlight, you might as well paint a target on your nekkid butt.
And in later zombie apocalypse survival tips, we’ll talk about how to camp at night.
This week, I’ll pass along another tip that the movie provided; one that I’ve hinted at in the past:
BE WARY OF OTHER SURVIVORS.
Here’s the thing — and not to get too cynical about my species, but still — in a disaster situation, whether it’s natural, human-caused, or a zombie apocalypse, other survivors are not your friends. There’s something funky that happens when all veneer of “civilization” falls away. As a species, we become just other mammals. That is, we become territorial, suspicious, and pretty much focused on ourselves because we’re trying to survive. However, where we differ from other species is our capacity for nastiness. When there are no rules, humans are even bigger rat-bastards to each other than when there ARE rules.
Here, from Resident Evil: Extinction to demonstrate just what I mean. This is the scene where Alice stops at a structure (an old radio station, it looks like) to see if there really are other survivors. She’s been getting a radio broadcast, after all, from someone who “needs help.” But these survivors…well, here. Watch:
See what I mean? As an aside, in terms of the entire move, this scene really didn’t serve much purpose except to demonstrate Alice’s ass-kicking abilities and the possible danger of survivors. So it’s useful in that regard.
So if you’re on your own or even with a group of survivors who know you, BEWARE OF OTHER SURVIVORS. They can be far more dangerous than zombies, because they have that nasty human characteristic of sheer cruelty and possible sadism. Bad times can bring out the worst in people. Zombies are predictable. Survivors aren’t.
All rightie! That’s your zombie apocalypse survival tip for today. Happy weekend!
Whew! Just put my zombie-free lasagna in the oven and I’m ready to provide what I hope is another useful tip for you and yours should the ZA (Zombie Apocalypse) occur on our watch.
So I watched the third installment of Resident Evil with our hot-ass zombie killer, “Alice” (Milla Jovovich). That one was called Extinction. Not my fave of the series, but what I like about it overall is that Jovovich’s character kicks serious ass, whether it’s zombie or non-zombie.
Hey, kids — Saturday, and you know what that probably means…
Your handy dandy tip that’ll hopefully help you survive in event of a zombie apocalypse or, honestly, in any other kind of catastrophic freak-out.
I’ve provided some ideas on how to get out of urban areas as well as the pros and cons of guns (see here and here).
Today’s tip is about your ZAS kit. Y’know, it’s always a good idea to keep some items at the ready for any kind of scariness, whether it’s an evacuation because of a natural event or a mass panic flee-fest in event of an unnatural event (i.e. zombies). And once you have your kit, it’s a good idea to check on it every couple of months to make sure the stuff is still good/hasn’t expired (like any meds you put in there).
Hey, kids! Yep, it’s time for another ZAS tip. You can find last week’s here. That one’s about getting your happy butt out of urban areas. Remember, the more people in an area, the more potential zombies. So it stands to reason, right, that you want to get away from these areas.
Today’s tip: Pros and cons of guns in a zombie apocalypse.
Andi Marquette 